People are always saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”… Well we have the lemons, we just don’t know the recipe for this batch of lemonade?
A few weeks ago Lori and I had a day we wish we could forget but never will be able to. To use an old cliché… we will always remember where we were when… No this was not a bad relationship day for us (although we do have them occasionally), this was a bad family health day.
On that day Lori and I found out that her mother needs to have surgery for an aneurysm that is growing in her head, behind her ear. We have known about this aneurysm for a while but its location (between two bones) has kept it under control and thus there has been little need for surgery. Well now the aneurysm is expanding and the doctors feel surgery, to put a stint in place and strengthen the artery, is the best option. Although surgery has come a long way it still makes us very nervous. The surgery is scheduled for March 3rd please keeps Lori’s mother in your prayers.
Now that news on its own was disturbing but….On that same day we found out that Lori’s uncle (her mother’s only living sibling) has inoperable stage IV cancer. The doctors have given him 6-12 months to live if he chooses not to have chemotherapy and 12-18 months with. Now we realize that these time frames are just averages but the realization is that short of a miracle his time with us is short. This is an uncle that Lori’s entire family is very close with and some I have come to know very well over the last 8 plus years. We see him just about every holiday, at all family events, and I even get to spend time with him during hunting season at the cabin.
Now I am a firm believer that God only gives people what they can handle. If you include the items above with the wedding planning and some other rather minor issues we are dealing with (ie water leak in the house) I think our gauge is pointing to full. I can’t begin to describe how Lori feels about what I mentioned above. I just know that learning of all of this while she is supposed to be so happy planning a wedding just breaks our hearts.
So I repeat “We have the lemons, what is the recipe? The truth is we could sure use some guidance from above on this one.
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3 comments:
Good Morning Mike & Lori,
All eyes on you.... sort of scary... I know. Jeff had a 50% chance of living 9 months after I met him. Jeff is the love of my life, the other half of my heart beat, the smile I find every morning... and the joy I find every night before I go to sleep. He's my husband. Jeff was diagnosed with Burkitts Lymphoma on Mother’s day 1998. We were just getting started. Doctor’s said it was a about a 50% chance Jeff would survive. I knew this… but at the time Jeff did not.
I got angry with God that day we found out. We had just spent Mother’s Day in the hospital. My emotional guts poured out in a river of tears, screams of whys, and despair as a drove home away from Jeff's home to my apartment where David and the babysitter waited. I then stopped. I prayed for peace. And I thanked God that I could be here for Jeff in his time of need.
Mike & Lori, some days, it’ll be just getting through the moments…but you will be together. Jeff and I found a way to find our smile every day. We did it together. We would snuggle sometimes. We took care of the thing we needed to take care of that day. We didn’t worry about the rest. The other things… well… it just boils down to basics… everything else … not so important.
My mom gave me a bit of advise while I was going through this with Jeff. ‘Jody, you have to be there for Jeff. Cry if you must… but don’t let Jeff see it. Find your smile… and shine him that.’
I love my mom for that advise. My Jeff got to see a happy soon-to-be wife through a not so happy time. The tears… I never cried again after that night with God… pouring my gut out. I rejoiced in the time Jeff and I had together.
In God's peace and love... and know that I am praying for you...
Jody
Mike, I am so sorry for you and Lori. But you are right that God will only give you what you can handle. Look for the message in all of this. I don't know what it is but there is always something to learn from all situations.
Also, I was taught during my RCIA classes to give all of my troubles to God. It sounds silly but when I get down I just stop and actually say out loud "I don't want this problem, God you take it." Sometimes I have to say it a few times before I feel that little bit of relief I need. God has much larger and stronger shoulders than I. He can handle it! After all he is going to handle it whether I keep it or not.
FWIW, my step-dad was diagnosed with Lymphoma about 9 months before our wedding so I know where you are coming from.
Our prayers are with you!
I used to believe as you do that God only gives what you can handle but a very wise person told me her belief and I think it is more accurate... God gives you just enough to force you to lean on Him. God doesn't care what you can handle... He cares that you turn to Him for strength and He will always have enough for whatever you are dealing with in life. He's just waiting to be asked for help and we all forget to take advantage of His strength.
Of course, I will include your requests in my prayers!
Read and remember the following verse... Jeremiah 29:11
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